We have had the stomach ick make the rounds in the Baxter house. So far John has been safe...he really doesn't need that! I know most of you read this for updates on John, and I appoligize again for taking a break... Sara was sick, then I was. It really was awful, but then I think that I had it for 4 days and John feels like that most of the time... I think it's important to realize how much we take the simple daily health most of us enjoy for granted. When you're sick, sometimes you can't imagine getting thru the day and people who are going thru chemo feel that way all the time, and probably lots worse. I have been thanking God for health...we all really need to take care of ourselves (that means I gotta get a colonoscopy ugh) because our health is really quite a gift... Ok, off of soap box, thank you.
On last Monday John was officially re-classified (for lack of a better word) as CANCER FREE - IN FULL REMISSION. We were doing the happy dance, but it's a mixed blessing because he still has to do ALL 25 radiation treatments. Another surprise is that he is getting chemo. This is to help the radiation stick, but we really thought we were DONE with that. It's all good, and there's no cancer and that's what we really want but dang, I just want him to feel well and be able to eat. The radiation people think that he's going to be sick every day and that as he progresses eating will even get harder because his esophagus will get really swollen. So, dang!!! But CANCER FREE - that's good and certainly God is gracious!!!
John is at Notre Dame getting ready for the BC game. It's nice when he can work. It makes him happy, although today may not be one of those times...it's like 40 degrees & cloudy....We're praying for no rain...that really makes things miserable. I'll let you know what's going on with the radiation as we progress. Please keep praying>>>
He'll somehow not get that sick.
He'll be able to eat
Time will go quick
He will see God's hand in the miracle of his remission.
Ok, that's all for now.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Joy Joy Joy
Reading the comments from you makes me do the happy dance all over again. God is so amazing!!! I was so excited yesterday and you guys just reminded me of my joy and total amazement that God gives us each other to walk this crazy life together!! Just think, this little morsel of joy is how EVERY SECOND will be in heaven. Let's all get to work, get the word out that Jesus is the Only Begotten Son who "so loved us" and then he can come back and we can live in this joy always!!!
Love you all!!!
Love you all!!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
PRAISING GOD AND DOING THE HAPPY DANCE
Dear friends, forgive me for abandoning you for the past several days. Life was unbearably hard and I just didn't have the energy. We have rode the roller coaster of chemo, sick, feel better, chemo, sick etc... John has lost all of his hair, he looks like Daddy Warbucks..he's ADORABLE. I'm not kidding he looks so cute. I still like him better with a beard, but the bald head is kinda sexy :). He says that people are looking at him now, he does look like a guys who is sick.
(This is going to be one of my mini-novel posts...sorry)T
oday is one of those sick after chemo days. Yesterday was so bad he couldn't really even move much. At least he has his comfy recliner to sit in. So, he's really sick and I've titled this one praising God and doing the happy dance.. I'm not a thoughtless shrew that takes pleasure in her hubby's pain..we have real reason to celebrate....
John is thru with all of his chemo PRAISE GOD!!! I've said it before, but until you walk thru this with someone, you just can't even imagine how hard it is on them. It's so hard on your body that even your finger nails stop growing... GEEZ, but that's still not why we're doing the happy dance.
John had his post-chemo endoscopy today to see what type of progress we are making in this fight. We went to the same place where he was 1st diagnosed...were in the exact same pre-op room (that was weird - there's like 15 rooms...) and the same Dr. did this procedure did the 1st one. When John was all done, the Dr came out to the waiting room to get me...that scared the beejeebers out of me. I thought that Dr's only delivered the bad news...well I was wrong! His 1st words to me were "If I didn't know where I was looking I would have thought his esophagus was non-remarkable - Yea, the tumor... GONE!!! Like Gone, gone. They did a biopsy to check the surrounding tissue because the tumor had gone into the tissue right at the sight of the tumor but hadn't spread very far, so there may be some microscopic cells running around, but the tumor is gone. THAT'S WHY WE'RE PRAISING GOD AND DOING THE HAPPY DANCE. The nurse in the recovery room even did the happy dance with me - I'm not even kidding :)
He is by no means done with his treatment. We still have the 25 rounds of radiation and the surgery to remove his entire esophagus to go, but I know that God is working one of his miracles in the throat of my sweet husband!!!
God is hearing and answering your prayers exactly the way we hoped...by healing him from his cancer, but please, don't stop praying!!
Up to today, this has been an awful week. Beside John being really sick from this round of chemo, one of Sara's friends named Mercedes, and the younger sister of one of Sam's very best friends, died unexpectedly - she was 11, (which is another story that I'll share some other time). I also knew her and her brother and older sister I couldn't understand this at all...like Sam & Sara don't already have enough to deal with and these then this. In addition to watching Sam and Sara grieve over their friends.. These 3 kids are very dear to me as well... They are such GREAT kids and, 11 year-olds aren't sposta die. Because of this, I fell into a slimy pit. God once again showed how mighty he is by lifting me right out of that pit. (see Psalm 40)
I am doing a Beth Moore bible study called "Believing God" (http://www.lifeway.com/believinggod/ -that's the web site, don't know how to do links...) She breaks the Believing God component into 5 Truths that you can use your hand to recite and remember them..ya know, just something cute & fun to remember. Here's what they are, starting with your thumb:
GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS
GOD CAN DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO
I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST
GOD'S WORD IS ALIVE AND ACTIVE IN ME... Then you use that hand and point to your self, say I"M, point to your brain and say BELIEVING and you point up and say GOD. It's just silly fun to help us remember so very serious truth OK now on to why that matters...,
Last night I asked the women in this study to pray for me.. But because of this and of course the ongoing burden of seeing John so sick and knowing there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to fix it, I was a mess.I'm not good at asking for prayer cuz I'm the PRAY-ER not the PRAY-EEEE which is a huge pride issue that God keeps knocking me over the head with... anyway, I asked for prayer and what happened in that room last night was amazing. God showed up big time. I sent the women an e-mail today thanking them for their sincere prayers. Stick with me...God is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do. Here's part of the e-mail I sent (told you this would be a mini novel..or does this qualify for a full blown novel now):
This morning I woke up and felt lighter, really lighter. I still mourn for Mercedes family, and will be reaching out to Lexi tomorrow (you can pray for that :) ) but I just didn't feel the heavy weight on my head. THAT IS GOD!!!
GOD CAN DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO!!!
As if that wasn't enough of a hug from God, he also decided that he would show me a little more of His glory today. John had a post-chemo (praise God we're thru that part) endoscopy today to check the progress of the chemo. Well, the tumor - GONE!! The Dr. said that if he didn't know where he was looking for the tumor (same doctor who did the original procedure) he would think that John had a normal esophagus. Did I mention....
GOD CAN DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO!!!
God is still out and about, here on this earth using his people to work all things for good. Romans 8:28 -And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose
PRAISE YOU GOD!!! GOD'S WORD IS ALIVE AND ACTIVE IN ME!!!
Now I get to go sit in the rain and watch my son play football. Oh Joy!
Sorry this is so long, hope that Blogger doesn't kick me out :).
(This is going to be one of my mini-novel posts...sorry)T
oday is one of those sick after chemo days. Yesterday was so bad he couldn't really even move much. At least he has his comfy recliner to sit in. So, he's really sick and I've titled this one praising God and doing the happy dance.. I'm not a thoughtless shrew that takes pleasure in her hubby's pain..we have real reason to celebrate....
John is thru with all of his chemo PRAISE GOD!!! I've said it before, but until you walk thru this with someone, you just can't even imagine how hard it is on them. It's so hard on your body that even your finger nails stop growing... GEEZ, but that's still not why we're doing the happy dance.
John had his post-chemo endoscopy today to see what type of progress we are making in this fight. We went to the same place where he was 1st diagnosed...were in the exact same pre-op room (that was weird - there's like 15 rooms...) and the same Dr. did this procedure did the 1st one. When John was all done, the Dr came out to the waiting room to get me...that scared the beejeebers out of me. I thought that Dr's only delivered the bad news...well I was wrong! His 1st words to me were "If I didn't know where I was looking I would have thought his esophagus was non-remarkable - Yea, the tumor... GONE!!! Like Gone, gone. They did a biopsy to check the surrounding tissue because the tumor had gone into the tissue right at the sight of the tumor but hadn't spread very far, so there may be some microscopic cells running around, but the tumor is gone. THAT'S WHY WE'RE PRAISING GOD AND DOING THE HAPPY DANCE. The nurse in the recovery room even did the happy dance with me - I'm not even kidding :)
He is by no means done with his treatment. We still have the 25 rounds of radiation and the surgery to remove his entire esophagus to go, but I know that God is working one of his miracles in the throat of my sweet husband!!!
God is hearing and answering your prayers exactly the way we hoped...by healing him from his cancer, but please, don't stop praying!!
Up to today, this has been an awful week. Beside John being really sick from this round of chemo, one of Sara's friends named Mercedes, and the younger sister of one of Sam's very best friends, died unexpectedly - she was 11, (which is another story that I'll share some other time). I also knew her and her brother and older sister I couldn't understand this at all...like Sam & Sara don't already have enough to deal with and these then this. In addition to watching Sam and Sara grieve over their friends.. These 3 kids are very dear to me as well... They are such GREAT kids and, 11 year-olds aren't sposta die. Because of this, I fell into a slimy pit. God once again showed how mighty he is by lifting me right out of that pit. (see Psalm 40)
I am doing a Beth Moore bible study called "Believing God" (http://www.lifeway.com/believinggod/ -that's the web site, don't know how to do links...) She breaks the Believing God component into 5 Truths that you can use your hand to recite and remember them..ya know, just something cute & fun to remember. Here's what they are, starting with your thumb:
GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS
GOD CAN DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO
I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST
GOD'S WORD IS ALIVE AND ACTIVE IN ME... Then you use that hand and point to your self, say I"M, point to your brain and say BELIEVING and you point up and say GOD. It's just silly fun to help us remember so very serious truth OK now on to why that matters...,
Last night I asked the women in this study to pray for me.. But because of this and of course the ongoing burden of seeing John so sick and knowing there is absolutely NOTHING I can do to fix it, I was a mess.I'm not good at asking for prayer cuz I'm the PRAY-ER not the PRAY-EEEE which is a huge pride issue that God keeps knocking me over the head with... anyway, I asked for prayer and what happened in that room last night was amazing. God showed up big time. I sent the women an e-mail today thanking them for their sincere prayers. Stick with me...God is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do. Here's part of the e-mail I sent (told you this would be a mini novel..or does this qualify for a full blown novel now):
This morning I woke up and felt lighter, really lighter. I still mourn for Mercedes family, and will be reaching out to Lexi tomorrow (you can pray for that :) ) but I just didn't feel the heavy weight on my head. THAT IS GOD!!!
GOD CAN DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO!!!
As if that wasn't enough of a hug from God, he also decided that he would show me a little more of His glory today. John had a post-chemo (praise God we're thru that part) endoscopy today to check the progress of the chemo. Well, the tumor - GONE!! The Dr. said that if he didn't know where he was looking for the tumor (same doctor who did the original procedure) he would think that John had a normal esophagus. Did I mention....
GOD CAN DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO!!!
God is still out and about, here on this earth using his people to work all things for good. Romans 8:28 -And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose
PRAISE YOU GOD!!! GOD'S WORD IS ALIVE AND ACTIVE IN ME!!!
Now I get to go sit in the rain and watch my son play football. Oh Joy!
Sorry this is so long, hope that Blogger doesn't kick me out :).
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday
You know satan wasn't happy with last night... today was hard but even as I type these words I can praise God because he is so good. He gave me lots of healing verses today from a book I'm reading "The Yada Yada Prayer Group Gets Tough" - Book 4 in the series. I totally recomend these books...thanks Becky for getting me started on these ;).
I love how God gives me what I need in advance. John took his pump off today - it wasn't any easier the 2nd time!!! Last time we had a nurse talk us thru it... but we did it!!! Good news is that the pump is out, bad news is that the sickness is likely to get pretty intense again.
Sorry this is short today, but I'm gona take a shower and hide in my bathroom for a while... that's my favorite prayer spot.
I love how God gives me what I need in advance. John took his pump off today - it wasn't any easier the 2nd time!!! Last time we had a nurse talk us thru it... but we did it!!! Good news is that the pump is out, bad news is that the sickness is likely to get pretty intense again.
Sorry this is short today, but I'm gona take a shower and hide in my bathroom for a while... that's my favorite prayer spot.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Sunday - PS Worship at River Valley Church
Wow, did I need this!!!! Once a month (starting this month) we are going to have our PS (Prayer & Song) partys in the evening. It is such a great time connecting to God... I really loved it tonight! What I love the most about my church is that we really are about passionately pursuing God. There's not alot of rules or requirements, just that we profess a personal relationship and we serve others as Jesus served people while he walked the earth. This week has been especially tough on the home front... It's hard sometimes to remember that God is in control and he's not up in heaven saying "OH NO>>> What am I going to do...John's sick" He's got the perfect resolution to this nightmare and he loves John more than I could possibly imagine. I know this in my head, sometimes I forget to let it flow into my heart!
John did feel better today than yesterday which is great... I do expect that he'll get sicker before he is better, but I'm just so thankful that he is having a better day than yesterday.
Did I already tell you guys that he has lost all the hair on his legs? Also his beard was pretty shaggy so he shaved it off...he has the CUTEST face I've ever seen... I still like the beard better, but he has just the cutest little face on the SMALLEST head ever. :) I took a picture, but I can't figure out how to up load it. Maybe Sara B or Karin P can tell me how to do this... If you guys have a minute, e-mail me how to do this. These are my 2 friends who are blogging experts and their blogs look awesome, mine, not so much! Well, keep praying that God will reveal himself to John throughout his illness and that John will draw closer to God as God ministers to him... Thanks!
John did feel better today than yesterday which is great... I do expect that he'll get sicker before he is better, but I'm just so thankful that he is having a better day than yesterday.
Did I already tell you guys that he has lost all the hair on his legs? Also his beard was pretty shaggy so he shaved it off...he has the CUTEST face I've ever seen... I still like the beard better, but he has just the cutest little face on the SMALLEST head ever. :) I took a picture, but I can't figure out how to up load it. Maybe Sara B or Karin P can tell me how to do this... If you guys have a minute, e-mail me how to do this. These are my 2 friends who are blogging experts and their blogs look awesome, mine, not so much! Well, keep praying that God will reveal himself to John throughout his illness and that John will draw closer to God as God ministers to him... Thanks!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Chem Day 3 - I think
Well, he's sick again. Since his chemo is only 75% of what he got last time, maybe he'll get better sooner, or maybe not as sick. He does have the pump again...did I already tell you that? Sam & Sara are having a tough time, this time around. I am too, I think John is too. Don't know why, it just is so hard to see him getting so sick. I have to tell you the story about the recliner we bought John -
Lazy Boy was having a sale so we decided that we should just bite the bullet and get him a really nice chair for dealing with the after effects of chemo this time. Last time he was pretty much stuck in bed...he may end up there again, but now he has an option, a beautiful LEATHER Lazy Boy recliner... Thanks Grama July for buying this for him :). Our dear friends & co-workers Peter & Terry went to pick up the chair for us so we wouldn't have to wait for the delivery. While they were getting ready to load it into Terry's truck, Terry noticed a very VERY small rip on the chair - it was on the bottom at the leg area - I would have NEVER seen that... Probably wouldn't have even thought to look. Anyway, Terry & Peter called and we decided that I couldn't pay all that money and then have a brand new chair with a flaw. So, the guys at Lazy Boy went to see if they had another one, which they didn't and so I was COMPLETELY bummed. We would have to wait 7 weeks for the new chair to come. Well, our sales guy Steve, got on the phone and got his bosses to GIVE us the chair now, so John could have it right away and they will swap it out with the brand new flawless chair when it comes in. I was really overwhelmed by that kindness - there was lots of kindness that day - Terry & Peter schlepping the chair for us; Terry's 50 year old eyes (it was his b-day the day they picked it up) and his diligence in inspecting the chair; the wonderful people at Lazy Boy who really went above and beyond. I know that Lazy Boy is a very good company, but they were just so sweet to us. That just made my day. It is amazing how very much we are loved by the people we know, but even more is the flawless, perfect love of our Father in Heaven for orchestrating all of this so that John could be a little more comfortable right away. Whoever wonders if there is a God, or that all this kindness is mere coincidence, is CRAZY!! We serve a faithful perfect God who loves us so much that he moves the hearts of chair people to make John a little more comfortable.
We're just taking one step at a time, putting one foot in front of the other and walking this road as best we can. Thanks to everyone who's been leaving messages on my cell and on this site. It means the world to me.
You have probably noticed I have opened the blog to everyone...We figure, the more prayers the better.
Just keep praying. Not sure what to ask for; that John not be sick for long, that he will regain his hope in his outcome and that even during this nightmare that the Baxter's will glorify God who is Mighty to Save!
Lazy Boy was having a sale so we decided that we should just bite the bullet and get him a really nice chair for dealing with the after effects of chemo this time. Last time he was pretty much stuck in bed...he may end up there again, but now he has an option, a beautiful LEATHER Lazy Boy recliner... Thanks Grama July for buying this for him :). Our dear friends & co-workers Peter & Terry went to pick up the chair for us so we wouldn't have to wait for the delivery. While they were getting ready to load it into Terry's truck, Terry noticed a very VERY small rip on the chair - it was on the bottom at the leg area - I would have NEVER seen that... Probably wouldn't have even thought to look. Anyway, Terry & Peter called and we decided that I couldn't pay all that money and then have a brand new chair with a flaw. So, the guys at Lazy Boy went to see if they had another one, which they didn't and so I was COMPLETELY bummed. We would have to wait 7 weeks for the new chair to come. Well, our sales guy Steve, got on the phone and got his bosses to GIVE us the chair now, so John could have it right away and they will swap it out with the brand new flawless chair when it comes in. I was really overwhelmed by that kindness - there was lots of kindness that day - Terry & Peter schlepping the chair for us; Terry's 50 year old eyes (it was his b-day the day they picked it up) and his diligence in inspecting the chair; the wonderful people at Lazy Boy who really went above and beyond. I know that Lazy Boy is a very good company, but they were just so sweet to us. That just made my day. It is amazing how very much we are loved by the people we know, but even more is the flawless, perfect love of our Father in Heaven for orchestrating all of this so that John could be a little more comfortable right away. Whoever wonders if there is a God, or that all this kindness is mere coincidence, is CRAZY!! We serve a faithful perfect God who loves us so much that he moves the hearts of chair people to make John a little more comfortable.
We're just taking one step at a time, putting one foot in front of the other and walking this road as best we can. Thanks to everyone who's been leaving messages on my cell and on this site. It means the world to me.
You have probably noticed I have opened the blog to everyone...We figure, the more prayers the better.
Just keep praying. Not sure what to ask for; that John not be sick for long, that he will regain his hope in his outcome and that even during this nightmare that the Baxter's will glorify God who is Mighty to Save!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
We're Back
Sorry about the long absense. My computer crashed and it took til now to get it back. Good news is it is all fixed! Lots of stuff has happened since I last blogged. John got out of the hospital and got much, much better. He was able to work at the 1st ND game which was very cool for him. On Monday (Labor Day) we went to Ann Arbor to see Dr. Oringer (the specialist surgeon). He was so awesome. This guy is the creator of the latest and greatest surgery for esophagus cancer and he was totally humble and spent a bunch of time with us, draw diagrams and walk us thru the procedure. Basically John will have his esophagus cut out and his stomach will be drawn up and made into a new one. He probably won't be able to eat like he did before - he will have to eat smaller meals and more frequently. Dr. Oringer was very hopeful, but this meeting really was a reality checker for us. After the great weekend, he was feeling good and really "normal" and all the talk of surgery and recovery just made everything real - again.
John had his second chemo yesterday and the fluids today. He got 75% of the dose he got the 1st time. Hopefully he'll only et 75% as sick. We also thought that he would be only having 2 chemo therapies, and he is having three.. BUMMER.
He'll have his radiation after the chemo (5 weeks) then he has to recover for a few weeks then he can have his surgery. That's all I have for now. We are ust taking things one day at a time. Please pray that John doesn't get as sick this time.
John had his second chemo yesterday and the fluids today. He got 75% of the dose he got the 1st time. Hopefully he'll only et 75% as sick. We also thought that he would be only having 2 chemo therapies, and he is having three.. BUMMER.
He'll have his radiation after the chemo (5 weeks) then he has to recover for a few weeks then he can have his surgery. That's all I have for now. We are ust taking things one day at a time. Please pray that John doesn't get as sick this time.
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