Since last post (ok 2 posts ago), we have been on another roller coaster. I'm hoping that soon John & I will stop thinking we know what is next because it never turns out that way. Weekends are hard, because there isn't ever any info or tests or appointments and you kinda feel like you are just sitting around and letting the cancer spread. That is a awful.
We finally found out what the mass on his chest is> It's matrix hair something... more common in kids, but it is benign. That's the important part. It's extremely rare... leave it to John to keep on going with the rare stuff... He is so one of a kind!!!
Yesterday we had the meeting with the Radiation Oncologist. It was good to feel like we are moving forward, but in the end, the Doctor, Hornbeck- WHO WAS AWESOME, by the way, said that he wanted John to go to to the surgeon in Michigan 1st. Dr. Hornbeck thinks that we might want to do the surgery 1st, and maybe not even do any radiation. We should hear today (Wednesday) from the Michigan Dr, and the Chemo doctor. I think that if we can get John into surgery, then at least the tumor is out... somehow that just seems huge to me. He will probably have to do chemo regardless, but maybe not radiation. I didn't know how nasty radiation is. I thought only chemo made you sick, but radiation does too... Cancer is just some nasty stuff....
As far as John goes, he's really in his "Let's get this going" mode. When he is in this frame of mind, all he want's is results, doesn't really like small talk and is irritated easily. Completely understandable... I say that so that you would know if he seems short with you, don't take it personally. You all know what a sweetie he is... He's just in fix this NOW mode!! Make sense?
We appreciate your prayers more than anything. Now we are asking specifically for prayer about:
We'll hear from Michigan soon
We'll get an appointment in Michigan NEXT WEEK
We'll hear from the chemo Dr TODAY
John will have peace
I will be able to cry
I haven't cried yet... I really need to do that. I feel like I have to be strong when I'm around the kids, and if I loose it around John, I know he'll feel really bad about that. He's mentioned to me he doesn't want the kids to be hurting. I think that causes him more pain then thinking about his immediate future... So anyway, I'm still living in numb-land and I don't like it here. I know that God is big, God is near and God is holding me up through all this but I just want to FEEL his embrace. Ok, that's everything
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